32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
