I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
