we're blogging at a bar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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