Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
