Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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