i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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