We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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