I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
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I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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