i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
