I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
