I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
