My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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