i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
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Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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