yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
