brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
