i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
