We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
