he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
