i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
