She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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