They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
