Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
