there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
