no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
