I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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