Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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