i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you had me at cake vodka
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
