yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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