just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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