if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
