Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
