the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
