Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
