i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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