some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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