how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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