Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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