Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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