mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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