Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
