I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
