i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
