And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
