I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
