I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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