I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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