You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is wine microwaveable?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
