i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
