I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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