Sry I called you an 8
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
