probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
