Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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