fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
