all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
