At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
