wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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