I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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