I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sext me about skeletons
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
