The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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